I'm Hank. I was your typical emergency room doctor.
Until I got fired.
ADMINISTRATOR: You let a billionaire hospital trustee die
to save some kid off the street.
I made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
HANK: This is my brother.
I'm Evan R. Lawson, CPA.
HANK: He took me away from my troubles and to the Hamptons.
And suddenly, I had a chance to become a whole new kind of doctor.
It turns out the wealthy and not so wealthy out here
could use a guy who makes house calls.
So, I've got a second chance to do what I do best.
Come on! I know you can run faster!
Come on!
Just run slower!
That's not the point of exercise.
It's the point of brotherhood, man.
Your guilt trips don't work on me.
You slowed down, didn't you?
Yeah, just to say your... Forget it.
Yeah. Wait, wait. Hold on a second. Wait. Let's talk.
About what?
Strategic planning for HankMed.
What's to plan? People get sick or hurt.
I treat them. You bill them.
Yeah. This isn't the ER, though.
Where people just come to you. This is concierge medicine.
It requires guerrilla marketing.
Oh, really? I skipped that class in med school.
Okay. Let's start with the basics, then.
The affluent are a very elusive demo.
No. They won't be eluding us, because we won't be chasing them.
Of course not. That would be crass.
Hence, my strategic plan.
HANK: Okay. Your strategic plan. Let's hear it.
So I read in the New England Journal of Medicine
that 1 in 10 women, between the ages of 21 and 40,
ignores a medical condition just to avoid going to the doctor.
You read the New England Journal of Medicine?
Yeah. Who doesn't?
So, today, we are going to meet 10 women.
They're going to ask us what we do for a living.
We're going to tell them. We're going to be so charming about it
that at least one of them is going to be interested in your services.
And the other nine?
They'll be interested in mine. You know what? Okay, here we go.
I'm going to illustrate for you.
See this guy with the dogs over there?
Yeah.
Pretend those dogs are attractive women.
Okay? Okay.
You start by zeroing in on just one of them.
(BARKING) Hey! Hey, there... Whoa!
(SCREAMS)
Oh, my... Cecil, that's... No!
A little bit late on the dog whispering, pal.
No. No biting.
Hey. Hey. Can I have a look? I'm a doctor.
Yeah. Let's get rid of this.
(GROANING)
Does any of this hurt?
(CHUCKLES) Not considering a dog just bit me.
Right. Here. Get me something sharp and a towel.
Okay. I'm sorry. Sorry.
(SIGHS)
Let me see.
All right, pull this finger back towards your nose.
Extensors are fine. Okay. Good capillary refill.
You know, it really doesn't even hurt that bad.
Here you go. It's amazing what you can do
with the words medical emergency.
HANK: Let me see your hand, please?
(MOANING)
All right. Come here.
Okay. There you go.
Wow. Thanks, man. Listen. How can I repay you for this?
No, no, no. Please, please. Don't worry about it.
Look, puncture wounds can get infected badly. Okay.
You need to go to the hospital for a thorough clean-out.
Man, I've got a lot of work to do today. I can't...
No, no, no. You need to go.
Okay. All right. All right. I'll find some time to go.
Good. Thanks.
Sure. Come on, guys.
Give these to your friends. We also do cat scratches and bee stings, too.
(GROANS)
EVAN: That was amazing.
EVAN: Well, that was exhausting.
You're never going jogging with me again.
Whoa. Bambi in the Hamptons. That's kind of freaky.
Yeah, you're right. I am never going jogging with you again.
HANK: Hey, Boris.
BORIS: Hank.
How are the accommodations?
Excessive.
Perfect.
That's exactly how I feel. Hi.
I don't think we've actually properly been introduced.
I'm Evan R. Lawson. I'm the CFO of HankMed.
I'm quite aware of you, Mr. Lawson.
EVAN: I just wanted to thank you for your hospitality.
But my brother, not being too business savvy,
if you know what I mean, doesn't really understand that nothing in life is free.
So I'd be happy to negotiate any terms that you may have directly.
Just you and me.
I understand your new practice out here is thriving already.
How did you... Never mind.
There are two kinds of people here in the Hamptons, Hank.
Those here to seek attention, and those here trying to escape it.
I just want you to know that I strongly favor the latter.
Yeah, believe me. I have no interest in becoming a celebrity.
Tell me about them.
Who?
The boy with the damaged car. The woman with the flat tire.
Sorry. Confidentiality.
I'm heading out for some relaxation time on my ocean boat.
But I'll be back tomorrow. We'll catch up then?
Make yourselves comfortable.
You're guests here. Not renters.
After all, the best things in life are free.
(EXHALES) Man crush.
You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.
EVAN: See you later.
Bye.
Wait. I'm not done talking.
I know. That's why I'm going. Can I shower?
Only if being clean is more important than being employed.
Sorry, Ev. No guerilla marketing.
Okay. Okay. What are you going to do?
Are you going to sit around all day waiting for your phone to...
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Okay. For the record, I made that happen.
Okay. Okay. Answer the phone exactly like this.
HankMed. Good morning, and how can we make you feel better today?
Hello? Or that. Good enough.
Yeah, sure. I'll hold for the Senator.
HANK: I hope I didn't pull you away from something important.
DIVYA: You know, I work for you now, Hank. And this is what's important.
Divya, look. You're clearly qualified to work at any big physician group in Manhattan.
What's the deal here? Honestly.
Honestly, my parents insist that I summer with them in the Hamptons.
So they don't support your career?
It's not what they see for me.
So I have to pursue it. Very quietly.
They don't know about your career.
Sometimes you've got to take things into your own hands, Hank.
Okay. Okay.
DIVYA: So what did the Senator say, exactly?
HANK: He said it was urgent and refused to give me any details by phone.
DIVYA: Maybe it's his heart again.
HANK: Well, a failed run at the White House could take its toll on anyone.
DIVYA: Selling a hundred billion multi-vitamins
may not buy you the presidency.
But it will let you live like a king.
(HANK CHUCKLES)
Lucy Everett.
Hank Lawson.
Your reputation precedes you.
(CHUCKLES) Along with my phone number.
My husband heard some very good things.
This is Divya.
I'm his physician assistant.
Mmm.
So where is the Senator?
In London. Follow me.
As you may know, my son, Kendrick,
just announced his commitment to Notre Dame.
He will be competing to be the starting quarterback.
And they need him in perfect condition.
Because USC's defensive line hits a lot harder than my daughter and nephews.
Look, as much as I admire the fact that you have your own football field,
sports medicine isn't my area.
LUCY: This isn't about sports medicine.
It's about communications strategy.
That's definitely not my area.
His team physical is next week. I would like to avoid any surprises.
At least any in public view.
All right. So he needs a routine check-up.
It's anything but routine.
Without a clean bill of health, he will not be cleared for play.
He needs an executive physical.
Yes. Your top-of-the-line executive physical.
Check him from head to toe, in painstaking detail.
Yeah. We're not equipped for that.
We'd need a cardiopulmonary stress-testing machine, a twelve-lead ECG...
Here we are.
Who's your interior designer? Sanjay Gupta?
This is brand-new hospital-grade equipment.
Yes. Anything worth going out for these days
is something you can just as easily bring in.
And I don't cut corners when it comes to my family.
Sometimes you've got to take things into your own hands, right?
He's a concierge doctor.
He'll check our vitals, then book us dinner and a show?
It means he will respect our privacy.
Did Dr. Greenwald tap our phones? Is this guy any good?
He was recommended by Dad's friend.
MELODY: Who? No one you know.
How do you know who I know?
Melody, I have to focus on your brother now.
We'll do this later. Is that okay?
I've got to take care of this thing. I'll catch you later, dude.
LUCY: There he is.
Wow. From the game room to exam room in just 12 hours.
(CHUCKLES)
Kendrick, say hello to Dr. Lawson.
Hey.
And Divya, his assistant.
Physician assistant.
Thanks for doing this.
Hey, we'll have you back outside tossing touchdown passes in no time.
Yeah, as long as "no time" is by noon.
Well, an exam takes as long as it takes.
Kendrick has his nutritionist at 12:00,
and his private offensive coordinator at 1:30.
My Mandarin tutor at 3:00 and my life coach at 5:00.
And I still don't even know what a life coach is.
The point is, the exam needs to be as long as planned.
In case you're wondering, bathroom breaks are on alternate Wednesdays.
(CHUCKLES)
Barring any surprises in the lab work, you are all systems go.
I am sure you'll have a breakout season.
LUCY: And all with 20 minutes to spare.
I'm going to go squeeze in some passing drills before lunch.
Don't forget to stretch. Don't forget to stretch.
Your dream come true. Mom times two.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Play like a champion today. Play like a champion today.
EVAN: And once the Argentinean girls were done eating out of my hand,
three cougars showed up.
And I lured them by talking up the water's medically proven rejuvenation properties.
They completely ate it up. It was some of my best work, actually.
A shame the cougars didn't eat you.
You're disgracing our profession. I'll be back.
I'm going to go change.
Every time she hurts my feelings, it makes her hotter to me. Is that weird?
You're weird. Okay.
So, yes. I am kicking ass and taking names out there. Like, literally.
The names are finding us just fine.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
And PS, we have to leverage that momentum before the well runs dry.
Okay? So I've got this girl at Us Weekly...
Don't even think about it.
Just one blurb on TMZ.
Come on. HankMed treating the Senator's son?
That would be killer publicity for us.
Their privacy is our publicity.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Hello?
Hey, what's wrong?
Okay, I should see you right away, then.
Meet me behind Pinch on the Pier. Okay.
Who is that? Was that a Kennedy? A Rockefeller?
A Jonas brother?
No, it's Benny.
Who the hell is Benny?
The guy who got bit when you tried to simulate flirtation on his pack of dogs.
Oh, my God. The... Are we billing him this time?
I have a hunch he can't afford us.
Look. We treat who needs treatment. If they can afford to pay, great.
If not, you'll figure out a way to make it all add up.
EVAN: All right. As long as Cujo's not there, I'm good.
(SIGHS)
You clean up nice. I just got a call.
You want to squeeze in a quick one before we go?
Oh, yes.
He just took the words right out of my mouth.
You're not worth the dry cleaning, Evan. Let's go.
Hotter and hotter still.
You know, all dog walkers get bit at some point.
It just comes with the territory.
Please stop barking, Beyoncé.
Gauze and a clamp.
You said you'd go to the hospital.
The wait there is four hours if I'm lucky.
Four hours times four dogs times 10 bucks an hour is real money.
And I'm not going to ask my mom to help me with rent again.
It's infected badly.
(GROANING)
Okay. Look, we can start draining the abscess,
but the hospital needs to finish the treatment.
Well, why can't we just do it all here?
No, it needs to be debrided by a hand surgeon
who knows where the nerves, arteries and tendons are hiding.
Whoa. I lost my insurance last year.
Look, it's the ER of a public hospital. They have to treat you.
I can't just tell them that.
You can. And I'll show you how.
Evan? BENNY: Okay.
Keys?
What? What are you doing?
Promoting you. CFO and Head Dog Sitter. You come on, Benny.
Those two live three blocks down on the left. 94 Cardinal Drive.
And the other guys are at 17 Spring Street, right behind the movie theater.
Okay, just make sure you get everyone home safely. All right?
Hank, I can give you a ride.
I got this one, Divya. You look like you have somewhere to be.
I have a family obligation. But I can...
Go. Enjoy it. If you can.
Hey! Walk slow, because Kiki can't walk fast. All right?
(BARKING)
Here you go. Come on.
So, Divya, we can ride with you, right?
(LAUGHS) Sorry.
(GRUNTS) Furry animals and sterile medical equipment don't mix.
GIRL: Hey. Cute dogs.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Oh.
(SIGHING) I hate this place.
Just say exactly what we rehearsed. You're going to be fine.
Okay.
I got bit by a dog.
It's swollen, and it hurts bad...
Fill these out and take a seat.
But it's an emergency.
Perfect. This is an emergency room.
He has an ascending infection of the hand into the arm,
presenting like a sclerosing tenosynovitis.
What did you do?
He just told you.
A dog bit him. And you are?
Someone qualified to judge that he needs treatment immediately.
Give me the charge nurse. Right away.
Yeah. So I'll see you tomorrow, then?
Cool. Okay. I'll see you later.
(DOGS BARKING)
Come on. Come on, guys.
Wow, that box looks heavy. Hey, don't I know you?
They just don't make pick-up lines like they used to.
I have been labeled a progressive.
I have to get to work. Cute dogs.
I know you. Hey. No, I'm serious. I really know you.
Stefan, leave Beyoncé alone. Come here. Come here.
Jackie, right? Jackie? Jan... Janice.
Sorry, bud. Game over.
Jill.
How do you know my name?
Are you using drugs of any kind?
No. Of course not.
Did you drink anything with a kick last night?
Would Red Bull do this to me?
No.
Do me a favor, Kendrick, and tell me your address.
(SLURRING) 67...
Hey, Doc?
Yeah.
My body is tingling.
(GASPS)
Kendrick.
HANK: All right. Push down on my hand.
What happened? We don't know.
What do you mean we don't know?
Well, he was fine yesterday. At least according to his executive physical.
Okay, labs and stress test all came back normal.
DTRs are decreased bilaterally.
Hypotonia, more in the lower extremities.
Guillain-Barré?
Possibly, but he has no pain.
Squeeze my hands. Squeeze. Hard. Come on, Kendrick.
(SLURRING) I have to play football.
All right. We should get him to the hospital for further testing.
No.
We need this handled quietly.
Look, there are a lot of variables right now that we can't plan for in your home.
That's why hospitals exist. I'd really feel more comfortable...
I'd feel less comfortable.
Five years ago, my husband walked into a hospital with chest pain.
Within 20 minutes, it was leaked to the media.
The next day, he lost the lowa caucus,
because the opposition was able to smear him as a man with a weak heart.
Overnight.
Turns out it was just a bad case of indigestion.
Dr. Lawson, you were not just hired for Kendrick's health.
You were also hired for his privacy.
And to make sure that he plays football at Notre Dame.
And then, goes on to lead a successful life, as planned.
(HANK SIGHS)
I will not put my family in the hands of the system again.
To diagnose this properly, I'd need...
I'll get you whatever you need.
Or just say that you're giving up on him.
And I'll find someone else.
Hank. Look. The way I see it, we have two options.
We can keep fighting her, or we can start helping him.
All right. Well, how are we going to get a mobile MRI?
(EXHALES) Let me worry about that.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
HANK: (MUTTERS) Oh, God.
EVAN: What... Did you just big-time me?
Anyway, I have two news alerts.
I ran into a friend of yours, and I did you a major solid.
Two, this car needs gas. Circle back with me ASAP to discuss.
Huh.
Hello, Ms. Newberg.
Evan R. Lawson?
I'm the CFO of HankMed?
Uh, the... Hank's brother?
(LAUGHING) Oh, Hank! Please come in.
Cool.
So how is Hank doing?
He's doing very well. And so are you.
You look fantastic, ma'am.
Thank you, dear.
Yeah. So... So naturally beautiful.
And splendidly symmetrical.
(CHUCKLES) Yes, I know. How can I help you?
Oh, no, Ms. Newberg. It's how I can help you.
May I offer you a vitamin-infused gin rickey?
Yep.
Esperanza?
Perfect. Oh, that will be great.
Okay. All right, talk to you soon. Bye.
Okay. I tracked it down. It's there. You just need to ask for it.
Good work, Divya.
Melody.
I think maybe I did this to him.
Please don't tell my mom.
Tell me what you mean.
(SNIFFLES) When I tackled him this weekend
during a game with our cousins, his head hit the ground.
Really hard. And he didn't get up for a few seconds.
No, no. His symptoms aren't consistent with trauma.
You didn't do this to him, Melody.
Look, what you're feeling isn't guilt.
It's just love and concern.
No mom could ever blame you for that.
You don't know my mom. Kendrick's future is her life.
Notre Dame's just the first step.
And then it's off to a top five law school, the Justice Department,
Congress and ultimately achieving what my father couldn't.
If I did anything to jeopardize all that,
she'd say that I ruined his life.
She'd say I ruined her plan.
What's the catch?
There's no fine print here, Ms. Newberg.
Well, it sounds like a very interesting proposal.
I thought you'd feel that way.
Do you have any literature?
Funny you should ask. Hot off the press.
Oh, thanks.
Oh.
Well, I'll pass this on to my advisers.
And if they approve, then I'm in.
Hank would be so thrilled.
Hank. Our savior.
(LAUGHING) God bless him.
Amen to that.
And you seem very competent, too.
Mmm-hmm.
You must meet my little granddaughter.
Oh. Thank you, Ms. Newberg. You know, I...
She's spending the summer with me.
Really? I'm really not very good with kids.
Emma, come here, sweetie!
It's just not...
Hi.
This gentleman works with the doctor who saved me last week.
Ah, your faux nichons.
(CHUCKLES) She's been studying in Paris.
Oh, that is too funny.
Because this very afternoon, I'm actually hosting a reception,
to celebrate the European architectural influences at my home, Shadow Pond.
Isn't that so weird? You should come.
Shadow Pond. That sounds like an assisted-living facility.
Yeah. You know... Yeah, you're probably not interested
in getting culture during your break from school.
Probably not?
She needs culture.
Nana, please. Don't micromanage.
I promised your mom you would not spend the entire summer
watching The Mountains and gossiping about it on Headbook.
It's The Hills. And it's Facebook.
NEWBERG: Go to this nice man's reception...
Aw, no.
...and bring your friends.
Or there's no salt scrubs at the Maidstone for a week.
(SIGHS)
How many friends, exactly?
Excuse me, I'm looking for... Ah.
Hey.
Oh, nice.
Yeah. Mock disaster drill. No crossing-guard jokes, please.
No, I was just going to ask if you were missing a lifeboat.
Look, I know we just met, but I need a favor.
And it's a big one.
How big?
The size of a truck.
I'm sorry, but I can't say.
You can't say who.
No, I can't say anything.
Well, that doesn't give me much to go on,
during our busiest weekend of the summer.
I know. I know.
Why don't you try the hospital in Riverhead?
They have an MRI truck and one-tenth our caseload.
No, I can't. I can't. Time really is a factor here.
So you want me to lend my MRI truck
to someone who doesn't feel like dealing with the traffic?
No. No. No, I wouldn't ask for it if that were the case.
You're a concierge doctor, Hank.
I have patients. You have clients.
And I can't move a mountain every time a CEO sneezes.
It's not a CEO.
It's a teenage boy with acute neurological deficits.
And we both know that can kill you,
regardless of how big your trust fund is.
This boy needs help.
He needs it fast. And I'm not asking you to move a mountain.
Just a truck.
(SIGHS)
Looks like we don't need the MRI for the next two hours.
Okay. I'm paging a tech right now.
Great. Great. Thank you. Really.
You know, despite my freakishly calm demeanor,
it wasn't easy for me to come here and ask you for something like this.
That doesn't surprise me, coming from a guy
who can't even ask me out himself.
Anyway, I just found out that I have to work tonight.
Uh, tonight? You have to work tonight?
What are we talking about?
That's when your brother said that you...
My brother? My brother, Evan? Evan, my brother.
How did you meet Evan?
Randomly, in town. He asked me out to dinner.
You know. On your behalf.
He did, did he? How helpful of him. He's a good guy.
Not that he, um, totally misrepresented me.
I mean, it's possible that, at some point, I would...
Ms. Casey? Hi.
We're ready for the mock evacuation drill.
Gotta go. You better bring my truck back washed and waxed.
Oh, washed, waxed, with the pine tree thing hang...
Hang...
EMMA: So where's everybody else?
Um, well, you've got me.
You've got Ali and Maxine.
And you've got about two dozen of the world's most exotic fish.
I mean, who else do you need?
You said this was a reception.
Yeah, everyone else apparently had scheduling conflicts.
Yeah. Or self-respect. Hey, guys? Maybe we should bail.
Maybe after a quick dip?
MAXINE: Couldn't hurt, right?
Nancy, I need you.
So do any of you girls read the New England Journal of Medicine?
ALl: Uh, no.
Oh, all right.
Ali, you are really beautiful. Sorry, I just had to say it.
You know? You probably come from beautiful parents, too, huh?
Are they alive and well?
Uh, yeah.
That's good. No hereditary conditions or anything?
Just divorce.
Oh.
Feels pretty magical, huh?
There are a few things it won't cure.
Like osteoarthritis. Right? Or gingivitis.
Or a severe gluten allergy?
Excuse me. What are you talking about?
What am I talking about, Emma?
I'm talking about restless leg syndrome.
Does that strike any chords, Emma?
Restless leg syndrome?
Hey, Dieter! What's up, man? Hey, you know what?
Why don't you jump in here? I could use a wingman in here.
No, thank you. Sir. You know what?
Would you grab my phone for a second and just take some pictures of us?
Because people tend not to believe things like this.
The marine spa has not been serviced properly in some time.
You know what? Neither have I, man.
But this is official HankMed business.
Dieter, old chum. Is the pool bar fully stocked?
This place is pretty ridic.
Yeah. Some might even say ludic.
You know, I am particularly impressed by the European architectural influences.
Yeah. Would you like to discuss the history of the Turkish bath?
Or we could just do some shots.
Yeah. You know, I should really get you home half-sober.
Because I really need your nana to like me.
Oh, yeah? Why is that?
Because she might be the 1 in 10. One in 10?
It's a business term. Yeah, don't worry about it.
Just put in a good word for me. Okay?
Well, I'm spending the summer stuck at my grandmother's house.
So why don't we start with those shots I requested?
Yeah.
Body shots.
Okay, no. We're not going...
Girls?
No, we are not... Body shots.
No, we're not doing body... No, we're not doing body shots.
No, no, no. Look. Okay, but just to be sociable.
Let's do, like, six. Let's do, like, six.
You first. And then... Ew!
Ew! What is this?
What... Oh, my God! I have it, too!
What the hell?
This is itching!
ALl: Mine is burning!
Mine is spreading!
ALl: What the hell?
What is taking so long?
Telemedicine moves at its own pace.
HANK: What did the radiologist say?
DIVYA: MRI is totally normal.
HANK: Okay. Let's do this.
Spinal needle.
Okay. It's clear.
No gross blood. No xanthochromia.
All right.
Get a cell count on Tubes 1 and 4. C and S on 3.
Protein on 2. Cryptococcus antigen on Number 4.
I'll update his mother.
LUCY: It's for the best. You understand that. It's time.
Okay. Let me bring you up to speed on what we've ruled out so far.
It's not Guillain-Barré, Myasthenia gravis, botulism or a structural lesion.
We may have to repeat the spinal tap.
She's airlifting him to Cornell.
What? They have the top specialists.
I've arranged a John Doe admission. Completely off the grid.
No, no. No. He's no longer in any condition for transfer.
They'll figure out what's happening to him.
They'll run the same tests I did.
Look, it will waste time he doesn't have. He's deteriorating.
Yeah. And who let that happen?
You did, Mom. You should have taken him to the hospital before.
The doctor and I will handle this. Is that okay?
Ma'am, look. I know this is hard.
You have dreams you want to protect. You expect...
People said I had the good plan of marrying into a fortune.
Truth is, my husband had the good fortune of marrying into a plan.
My plan.
I took Ed from obscure entrepreneur
to Federal Reserve director to United States senator.
But that's as far as the race took him.
Kendrick is going to have the whole package without any missteps.
I have a plan for that boy.
Not as a dreamer, but as a mother.
I know you love your son.
But you need to stop fixating on his destiny and start worrying about his life.
Because he can't be President if he's dead.
Hank! He's in respiratory arrest.
All right, I'm ready.
Tube, please?
It's in.
Okay. Good.
Okay, bag him.
Okay, his breathing is stable.
Monitor him carefully for any signs of cerebral edema.
Come talk to me. HANK: If he goes...
Hypertensive and bradycardic.
We hit him with a mannitol and then the LASIX, and we hyperventilate him.
Exactly.
MELODY: Just give him more time, Mom.
No. Instead of getting better, he's just getting worse.
Mrs. Everett. The chopper is here.
Tell it to go away, Nancy. The doctor said it's already too late.
Excuse me.
I'm in charge. Is that okay?
No, it's not okay.
Kendrick doesn't want your help and he doesn't want your plan.
He doesn't even want to be President.
He just wants to play football.
But he didn't want to disappoint you, so he went along with it.
Now, just let the doctor do his job.
Did Kendrick really tell you that?
He tried to tell you, too, Mom.
You would know that if you stopped for a sec to listen.
But you're always too busy doing the talking.
Whispering in his ear. Putting all your stuff in there.
You're never going jogging with me again.
Yes.
Melody.
When you tackled Kendrick this weekend, his head hit the grass.
Yeah. Why?
Kendrick hit his head? Why didn't you tell me?
You said that I didn't do this.
I think all you've done to your brother, Melody, is save him.
Alligator forceps and mineral oil.
What are you doing?
I'm neutralizing the parasite.
Forceps.
What parasite in the Hamptons could cause all this?
A very, very small one.
Deer tick.
Once this little guy managed to crawl right into his ear,
it fed on his blood to make eggs.
Its salivary glands secreted a neurotoxin, which caused the rapidly ascending paralysis.
Oh, my God.
Is he going to be okay?
Well, with the tick removed, the poison will dissipate just as rapidly.
He's going to be fine.
Bro? Serious trouble back at the bat cave.
I need you and Divya and all your little gadgets and ointments back here stat.
HANK: There he is.
Welcome back, buddy. You're going to be fine.
Rest.
I am glad that we were able to keep this private.
LUCY: Thank you.
Glad to have you back.
Sure.
Yeah, right.
Melody has never stood up to me like that before.
Well, she was protecting her brother.
She was asserting herself.
Showing signs of leadership.
Thank you. Thank you.
Why do I have 11 voicemails?
I think I know why.
What is it, Evan?
Ah.
He's been busy. Very busy.
Hey, relax. Just tell me the problem.
He sent me 23 pictures, too.
DIVYA: Wait. Stop. Ew.
DIVYA: You were in a Jacuzzi?
Hot-tub folliculitis.
The filtration system is broken.
Just soak some hot towels in household vinegar.
Apply the compress for 20 minutes, two to four times a day.
You'll all be fine by next week.
Although, you'll still be an idiot.
You'd make a great older brother.
Mmm.
Quite a thing we just pulled off.
Well, who needs hospitals, after all?
So I guess we need to figure out your compensation. Stuff like that.
Well, whatever you think is fair.
And your title.
Well, what's wrong with physician assistant?
Yeah, people seem to only hear the second half of it.
I was thinking, "Associate."
(DOOR CLOSES)
Did you not get my calls?
I turned my phone off.
You did what? Never do that.
I heard about your hot-tub mishap. Nice.
Mishap? Mishap?
It was a disaster, Henry!
I spent all day trying to convince these girls I wasn't a douchebag,
and they left smelling like vinegar and water.
What was going through your head?
Nothing but our strategic plan.
Your strategic plan.
No, our plan. The plan.
To turn 10 women into one patient.
But then, only three showed up, and I...
You turned them all into patients.
I...
It made much more sense on paper, okay?
Now, look. If we're going to do this together,
you need to take it seriously and really pitch in.
Like a grown-up.
What's this?
It's just me pitching in.
You are looking at our very first summer retainer.
Who retained us? One Ms. Newparts Newberg.
Who now has 24l7 access to you,
by phone or by house call.
And guaranteed same-day appointments,
including all lab work and specialty referrals.
24l7? That woman will drive me...
And that's what it's going to cost her.
Per month.
You're going to be fine, Benny.
I told him not to take this job.
(SCOLDING IN SPANISH)
Please, Ma. Not now.
You were supposed to be a vet, not a dog walker.
This is like being a busboy instead of a chef.
How is that the same?
You're right. Busboys get tips.
Mommy, please. You're making my hand hurt.
Hank, you got a cure for this?
Look. You're in great shape, Benny, all right?
If you have any problems, just... You just call me.
Thank you, Doctor. Sure.
Jill. Hi.
Hey. I was just visiting a friend.
I heard all about it.
You want to grab a bite? Oh, I thought...
I have a few minutes, and I know a great place right near here.
Okay.
Best I could do on such short notice.
Hey, I love carousel cuisine.
I've got my eye on a 2007 chocolate milk that I've heard very good things about.
So I guess we have Evan to thank for this.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you and your brother seem pretty different.
On a good day, very different.
I don't know. I guess, even in your own family,
it's rare to find a person you really connect with.
Then you meet someone at a party.
But you wonder if they see the world in the same way.
You do?
Yeah, I do. I mean... Who are you, Hank?
Are you the guy who is lining up $2 million magnets
for people who can afford to buy their own
or are you the guy who's making sure that
the local dog walker doesn't lose his hand,
because he can't afford to save it?
Well, why do I have to choose one over the other?
I mean, they both need my help.
But concierge doctors help rich people. Isn't that the idea?
Well, I may have a slightly different idea.
I really hope your new business succeeds, Hank,
but...
It has to succeed without my favors.
Now, my job is to help people who come to the hospital, not people who won't.
Yeah. I'm sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable position.
In a way, I'm glad you did.
Yeah? Why is that?
I think it's cute that we had our first fight before our first date.
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, me, too.
Mmm. This pizza is oddly refreshing.
That's because it's a lemon strudel.
Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.
Excuse me. They need you in oncology.
Okay. I'm sorry. I've got to go put out a fire.
Can I walk you to your fire?
Have a good night, Hank.
How were the high seas?
So quiet. No disturbances at all.
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
So how are the Everetts doing?
Lucy still have everything on track over there?
I'm glad you enjoyed your outing.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm sure Mrs. Everett will appreciate your respect for confidentiality.
Hey, Boris. Yes.
Thanks for the referral.
Don't mention it.
I've got plans for you, Hank.